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The weirdest search terms that bring people to East Asia Student

I was going through the Google search terms that get people on to this site, and whilst the majority were fairly understandable (even “hairy tortoise”!), some of it was too bizarre not to share.

I’ve gathered the most inexplicable and inappropriate search terms here. Remember that each of these was typed in to Google by at least one real person somewhere in the world, and that that person clicked through to East Asia Student in their quest for knowledge. In the interests of public service, I’m going to try and better address these queries here.

“Skritler”

I’m assuming that someone let their mind wander whilst searching for Skritter. Anyway, here’s my rendition of the resulting search term, hope they find it useful:

“asian study habits”

This one is pretty sad. Someone out there seems to think that studying well and getting good grades is about your genetics and not, uh, putting some effort in. My advice to this person: just Google “study habits”.

“Chinese things”

I love the way these guys are up for anything so long as it’s Chinese in some way. I can just imagine the conversation they had:

A: “You know what I want to read about?”

B: “What?”

A: “Chinese things.”

B: “Yeah let’s look at some Chinese things.”

A: “Yeah.”

“flemings radnor”

I don’t know who Flemings Radnor is, but I know I want to read a crime novel where he’s the protagonist. The whole name just screams sophisticated, sarcastic investigative ability. Also, why does his name bring people to my site? Suspicious… I’m outta answers, and outta luck, but I might just know who to ask

“the Chinese are coming”

Excellent Hollywood material right here. Every nation in history, it seems, has had their moment to come pouring over a hill in an unstoppable horde, and by law someone has to shout “the ___ are coming!” You can also bet a significant quantity of money that the title of the film where the Chinese get their turn to do this will contain a combination of the words “red”, “dragon” and “rising”.

“Chinese Japanese Korean difference”

Let’s hope this person was wondering about these three different languages. If so, then they might find my handy East Asian language identification guide helpful.

“console myself”

I feel bad that this poor fellow got directed to a site about East Asian Studies, when he clearly just needs a shoulder to cry on. Go on buddy, let it all out.. There there…

“ethanol bottle”

Oh dear… This guy’s life really is on the rocks.

“is Klingon a real language”

No.

“China sucks”

Why type this into Google? It already seems to be a firmly held opinion, so why let the world of facts and reality change your mind?

“is Middle East part of Asia”

A tricky one there. And is East Asia part of the Middle? Who knows.

“not good enough for anyone”

Clearly there wasn’t enough ethanol in that bottle. Why Google thought this person needed sending back here again is anyone’s guess, but I can’t imagine it was very helpful. Anyway, there weren’t any depressed searches after that, so it seems like he managed to sort out his.. Oh dear.

“the reason is because grammar”

I like the way this person didn’t have something to _ask _the world, they had something to tell it! The reason is because grammar! Brilliant! I may start using this in response to any question I don’t understand. “Why are you so awesome, Hugh?” “The reason is because grammar!” Answers everything.

So that rounds up the most misdirected search terms for East Asia Student. I’m not sure what the effect of combining them all on one page will be, but I’ve got an image of lost web-searches bouncing painfully off this page like moths on a hot light bulb. I blame Google.

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